I Wonder Why

By Louis Tutwaller

I wonder why there's no clouds up in the closet I looked for my favorite shoo fly! Don't bother me with a bunch of carrots and paisleys that look like hairy little parameci - um, could you repeat that last parting your hair in the middle is a sign of rebellions, tomatoes and hold the may. . . yo - -yo string is all tied in Knots Berry Farm used to be a simpler kind of life when folks would just go to the park and listen to music played by trombones and Sue's got a new phone in if you know the answer to our trivia question: How many steps would the average millipede take to walk around the Earth and back again so soon?

More wisdom from Mr Tutwaller

When all else fails, bewilder your audience with nonsense. Say it with confidence, so that those who are listening will assume that they do not measure up to your erudition. Politicians and philosophers are masters at this. A perfect example of this is the philosophical phrase that has become part of everyday communication: "There is no right or wrong answer." Consider the paradox that this meaningless statement is always presented as an absolute statement, which any sensible person should ascribe to. Amazingly, it is a favorite statement employed by teachers. The alert student ought to reply with something like this: "So, why am I taking this class from you?"

Wise Words from Mr Tutwaller

Mr Tutwaller offers sound and stable advice to politicians, clerics and academicians, who value both clarity and ambiguity. And who well understand that straight talk is certain evidence of a limited and narrow mind.